Season 3 — now dumping

Decks & Friends

An absurdist rubber-hose cartoon that rides the degen highs and macro-cycle lows of the crypto market — so you don't have to. (You will anyway.)

Decks, the wide-eyed rubber-hose mascot, surfing a wildly volatile green-and-red market candlestick chart while clutching his portfolio.
The Episodes

Binge the bear, laugh at the bull

Eleven minutes of emotional damage per episode. Filter by season or vibe — your therapist can't.

Meet the Cast

A friend group held together by leverage

Six rubber-hose disasters who each represent a stage of your portfolio's grief.

The Macro Cycle

Market-Cycle Mood Meter™

Drag the dial to your current emotional support market phase. The cast reacts accordingly. Fully scientific.*

Euphoria
“We are all geniuses. Generational wealth is one click away. Decks just bought a third monitor.”

Set your delusion level

Slide from “euphoria-pilled” to “fully capitulated” and watch the energy curdle in real time.

🤑 Euphoria🙃 Denial😰 Fear💀 Capitulation

*Not scientific. Not advice. Not okay.

Degen Wisdom

Ancient proverbs from the trenches

Press the button. Receive guidance. Ignore it immediately.

Tap the button below to summon a truth you didn't ask for.
The Quote Wall

Things the cast actually said

Screenshots from group chats that should have stayed private.

“I'm not down bad, I'm down strategically.”— Decks, S2E4
“Charts are just sad mountains.”— Pip, S1E9
“It can't go lower. Narrator: it could.”— Hodlina, S3E2
“I read the whitepaper. I understood three words.”— Gas, S2E1
“Diversified across nine wallets I no longer control.”— Decks, S3E7
“We're early. We've been early for two years.”— Pip, S2E8
“My exit strategy is denial.”— Hodlina, S1E3
“It's not a loss until I open the app.”— Gas, S3E5
“Touch grass? The grass is also down 40%.”— Mooncat, S2E6
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New episode drops, behind-the-scenes doodles, and zero alpha. We promise nothing and deliver less.